so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
