I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
