I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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