Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
