I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
