Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She's the barista slut.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
