My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This baby is an asshole
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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