i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We're too hungover to prance.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
