guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
