I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
