I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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