she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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