I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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