Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
