just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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