so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
