I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
