Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
