I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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