he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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