We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
