She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
