Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
