There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
