we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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