420 ftw
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
