I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
