What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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