Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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