I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
