we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
