Porn is love you can see.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
