This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Are we still banned from the library?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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