Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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