We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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