I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
