I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
