i wish starbucks made bloody marys
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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