I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize