Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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