Don't you send me to vm
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
