This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
