the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My vagina just clenched in fear
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
