last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
