Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
