I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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