I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
