I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
