I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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