I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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