Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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