So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize