i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
