An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
